This Experience

This experience has been incredibly amazing for me. I have had such an amazing time that I have decided to continue in my volunteering next semester. Before this, I would say that I cared little about kids or being in that type of environment, however now I have an entirely new outlook on how everyone's persepective is important paticularly kids. I also realize after reflecting on past discussions and blogs, how before I was so wrapped up in my own 'story' if you will, that I rarely paid attention to the stories of others not realizing how the stories of others were so entwined with my own. I also realize now that by learning about others and including them in my life, that my own story becomes enriched. So often we are racing to the invisible finish line in life, not knowing exactly what that enatils that we miss the things that are truly important and actually make the experience.
I was debating at first whether or not I should take this class, but now there is no question that this has ultimately affected and changed me for the better. I have found friendships with people and learned that sometimes just being there for people, and caring about what they think makes all the difference.

The Invisibile Man

I think that it is sometimes very hard for one person to make a change within a society-- but I won't say that it is impossible because there are always exceptions. I get frustrated sometimes in society, because I feel like even if people know that change needs to happen or wants change to happen won't go for it, because it isn't the popular idea at the time, or they wait for it to become a trend. Like take this whole going green thing for example- five or even ten years ago who really cared about how much they wasted as long as they got what they wanted? But now that celebrities are 'going green' and it is suddenly the posh thing to do. The problem is, how do you make what is right or what needs to be done, popular? How does the idea suddenly catch hold of people, even when sometimes the need for it is so plain to see?
I think the reason why I feel like the 'invisible man' can no longer promote change in our society is the fact that as a whole we no longer value what we stand for-- they value what we appear to be. Everyone wants to follow what the celebrities are doing and care little to know the motivations behind their actions, and all too often we overlook many ordinary people we may pass by everyday who may have something really good to contribute- they are just waiting for someone to listen.

There are many reasons why I think it is important to share the stories of the children that I am working with. Just the other day we were discussing the behavior of one of the children, and until then I could not understand why she acted the way she did-- she was always out of control even when she had been warned not to be. It came to my attention that she does not have the greatest home life, and essentially the staff are the closest thing to real parents she has. and that when she acted out, it was merely a way for someone to pay attention to her even if it was negative attention.
In her book ,Nussbaum argues that it is very important to learn about others, but to really understand where they are coming from and the facts of their lives because this inevitiably will affect their behaviors and motivations. All too often, we only focus on our own experiences and our feelings and lose sight that there are many possible experiences. I think that it is this understanding of other people and knowing their stories that makes us want to help them even more. After finding out about the little girl's home life, only made me want to help her more, and her acting out made so much more sense to than it did before.
Before this service class, I had little patience for children and thought that anyone who chose to have a profession dealing with them was insane. Now I am finding myself very attached to the kids, and it breaks my heart thinking that after this year, I will never see them again! I work at a place here in Dubuque, which allows me to see the public all of the time. I have seen some of the kids from my class in with their families, and the lack of concern or attention that the children are getting in some cases makes me want them to know how much I enjoy helping out in their class that much more. I want to be someone that they know cares about what happens to them and wants to hear what they have to say.

Reflection On Service So Far

I am really starting to make connections with the kids and even the teacher whose room I am in, the more time I spend there. I have seen the kids out in public at the grocery store and they are always so happy to see me-- so it is visibally making a difference. Lately there has been talk (of which I don't think I was supposed to hear) about the treatment of some of the kids by their parents at home. One of the employees saw a mother and son out in public and witnessed just horrible behavior of the mother in regards to the son. She said that the little boy was kind of ashamed about the behavior and tried to pass it off as if nothing happened when they both returned to school the next day. It is just so hard for me to imagine a child taking on something like that all alone.
We have also had some bad luck as far as some of the other aides (none from Loras) showing up on a regular basis and following through on what they say they will do. I have found that it is really hard not to want to show up, and have actually considered volunteering next semester in the same classroom as well, because I am really getting attached to the kids.
As we were on our way to the school the other day, we actually got to take Kneist Street for a little ways, and it is so hard to imagine that soon some of that will not even exist anymore. I started to wonder as we were driving if any of the kids from class lived there, and if they did what would become of them-- like where would they go to school or where will they end up living?
Like I said, so far I have had just a really positive experience with this project and it is something I would have never done had I not had this class. It has made me wish that I would have gone for teaching instead of psychology :)

Catholicism and Dorthy Day

I think that one of the main things that I have learned about Catholicism since coming to Loras, is the importance of the individual, this idea is also emphasized in the book we read for class. We always talk about how important it is that we contribute to those around us, and I think that sometimes it is hard for us to truly comprehend the impact that our actions make upon others. When I was younger, I went to a Catholic school and much of the volunteer work that we became involved in was in a group setting and usually was only a day project. I think one of the things I am enjoying most about our service opportunities in this class, is the ability to form lasting relationships with people. It's been so interesting to see how placing the emphasis on those you are working with, even above the actual work itself, yields such amazing results. I am working with kids in a local elementary, and the fact of the matter is that the kids do not care that I am helping them learn patterns or working on numbers with them, they are just excited to have someone there to spend time with.
One of the things that really stuck out for me with the Dorthy Day book (as you can already tell) was the idea that the whole basis for the Catholic Workers Movement was the idea of the individual and that the means to the end would somehow work itself out. So many times in the society that we leave in, we are jaded by things that seem good on the surface but have alterior motives. So many times we see charities or other foundations with the mask of christianity or sometimes Catholicism that we later find only contribute a small fraction of what is donated to them. There are many other examples, but I think the point I am trying to get at is recently these types of foundations or work gets discredited, and it is important to remember what it started as. The original idea was that when change was needed to benefit others, strides were taken by certain individuals to make that change because it was the right thing to do. So many people today worry more about making themselves look good through the work that they do, or the gain they themselves will obtain instead of the people that they are trying to help.

Politics

When I use the term politics, I think of it as a system in which decisions are made in order to govern a group of people; this can be in government, schools, workplaces, religious groups etc. I also think of social politics in which connections are made in order to advance oneself or gain friendships. The author in the book is trying to convey his idea of politics, which is that it is too ideological for government or 'politics' to really benefit the individual. I think he is trying to say that these ideologies prove too simplistic or one-dimensional to serve people who are simply more complex than what those simple ideologies can serve. He also is trying to convey the fact that sometimes by putting ourselves under institutions that we think are working to better us or liberate us, we are actually restricting our personal freedoms more.
The second week of service went really well. I am suprised at how vastly different the children are both in what their backgrounds are, but also in personality and ability. the children are responding really well to having someone there to help out, and the staff keep expressing how grateful they are to have someone there to help, so already this early in I feel as though I making a difference.

This Weeks Service

This week I began at Marshall Elementary. Walking up to the building, I could not believe how different it was from the elementary school that I attended-- with the chain link fencing and the door locked to the public without first announcing who you are. I also notice that the surrounding area is quite different than the one surrounding my old school. Meeting everyone there was really fun-- I really think that I am going to enjoy this semester. The school itself is quite a bit smaller than the one I attended- and it is public (I attended private.) The library where I will be helping out sometimes, was very small. There also isn't an acutal cafeteria, instead they use the gym. I haven't really gotten to really interact with the kids I will be working with yet. However, I did get to interact with the staff and I think this will be a really great experience. They all seemed truly appreciative of the fact that people are willing to volunteer there, and we were told thank you over and over. As we get more into the semester, I think I will be able to talk more about the experience.